LOVE DOCTOR
RODNEY and STAN PACKING UP TRUCK,
AFTER GETTING FIRED (LOOKING PUZZLED) BOTH
Stan:
Now what we gone do?
Rod:
We gone keep doing what we been doing fool.
Stan:
Man all we been doing is losing business, and getting fired from jobs for stupid shit
Rod:
Bro you ain't blaming this shit on me are you?
Stan:
Fool you Da one that wanted to clean the damn ladies refrigerator with oven cleaner.
Talkin bout it'll get all the grease off the side from the stove and then the damn paint came off.
Rod:
Well you the one that sprayed all that shit on there.
Stan:
You told me too.
Rod:
You don't never listen to a damn thing I say. All of a sudden you, you listening. Why don't you take yo ass out on the 405 freeway and play in the traffic.
Stan:
You big boulder head.
(Stan Slap Rod up side the head)
Rod:
Don't touch me holms. I done told you about that shit
Stan:
Man what in the hell are we gonna do now?
We down to 3 clients.
We got the 2 bathrooms at Burger King on Crenshaw.
We got the three McPherson sisters in park La Brea.
(1)
NEXT SCENE BELOW
Stan:
You mean recently?
Rod:
Well like p4ula paid we cleaned her father's building.
Stan:
We are currently working for the McPhersons.
The McPherson mortgage group Big building
down town L.A. Hugh-Building.
(Rod looks at Stan-crazy)
Rod:
Sir we've been kinda struggling lately to get business.
We think think the system is all crooked.
It's hard for a brother to get in.
Stan:
But we got to keep on trying. Right brother?
Ed;
Well let me tell you two clowns like I
told the the last two. My ratings are way down
this quarter and I'm not in the mood for nobodys, bullshit.
You come in here on time, and clean this shit up,
don't be bugging my damn DJ's and for Christ sake keep quite.
Stan:
Yes, Sir.
Rod:
You bet.
Ed:
Okay you're hired. The first thing I want you two fools to
do is clean these damn floors.
I feel like I'm walking on shit. Those last ass
holds put some gummy shit on the floor that won't come up.
But since you two are so experienced.
I know you'll be able to straighten it out. Right?
Rod:
Right.
Stan:
Right.
Ed:
Talk to yall later and remember
stay away from my D.J.'s.
(20)
NEXT SCENE BELOW
Rod:
Well, it's almost time for us
too get off and Ed told
us to clean the D.J.'s booth.
Shy Guy:
Well start over there and keep the hell quiet.
I don't want to hear a got damn pin drop.
Stan:
Okay Mr. Guy.
Shy Guy:
Get the hell outta here.
Rod:
I thought I told you not to say nothing to him.
Stan:
I'm gone fuck his ass up, watch.
Rod:
Empty the trash can man and chill out.
(Shy Guy on the line with caller)
Shy Guy:
Hello, and welcome to Shy Guy's love hour,
because if it's about love
(You can ask me anything)
First caller:
Benita from Compton.
Benita:
Hello Shy Guy.
Shy Guy:
Hello Benita, how are you baby.
Benita:
I'm the one who called last night and asked for advice
on what I should do about my husbands fantasy is to have
2 women at one time.
Shy Guy:
Right, right, right.
Benita:
Well let me tell you what happened.
He left with the other girl you stupid ass wanna
be lover fool, you shouldn't be talking about love.
You should be talking about how to break up a damn
relationship.
Shy Guy:
Well you're the one who called and…
(29)
NEXT SCENE BELOW
Stan:
And lay off the pig feet with your fat ass family
Rod:
Shut up man.
Well that was the last caller. I'll have to say goodnight until next time.
What are you doing? Keep talking.I'm getting calls from other radio stations.
Rod:
Ed I'm tired and its 11:30
Ed:
okay sign off. and come in here, and hurry up.
Boy you -sounded pretty good on the mike tonight.
Rod:
Thanks, Ed.
Ed:
We might have to work something out tomorrow,
cause it seems like the people can relate to what you -re -saying and that I s what I m looking for.
Boy you had the phone& ranging off the hook.
Rod:
Can we talk about it tomorrow?
Ed:
Sure we can.
You get some sleep, you got a big day tomorrow.
Rod:
Good night Ed.
Stan?
Stan: We in there Bro.
Jingle bells ' Jingle bells It's on now. Jingle down baby.
Rod: Yea, looks like I got the job, and I think he's gonna fire Shy Guy. 26 Stan: Man he's outta here, trust me Bro, he's gone. Trust me Bro, he's gone.
(38)
NEXT SCENE BELOW
(Ed on the speaker box)
Ed:
Rodney Love, we are getting calls from all over the country.
Happy as ever - joking They want you, but they can get ya.
Rod:
Thanks, Edward.
Ed:
Watch it boy
You ain't got it like that yet. But you keep doing this shit you call me any damn thing you want.
(END Night Last Caller)
Rod:
Last caller, you name please?
Caller:
Hey docl how can I get rid of herpes?
Rod:
You can't. Stop screwing today.
Goodnight, and good love. We'll talk to you tomorrow.
I need a drink cuz.
(End of Scene)
(Club Big Balls)
Rod:
Man it was rough tonight.
Stan:
It was cool, you did a good job.
Rod:
I was emotionally drained and that last caller, about the herpes.
Stan:
That shit was funny.
You told his ass to stop screwing.
Rod:
That wasn't funny man.
That was mean. I feel bad about that. Imagine how he feels right now.
(60)
NEXT SCENE BELOW
Meshal:
Oh my god I can't believe this week. I'm gonna call your daddy right now.
Come here girl why are you kissing my son
Katrina:
He was giving me advice he got from his father on how to kiss somebody.
So I could be ready when I get to Jr. High.
Meshal:
Oh my god, go home little girl oh my...
(Phone rings)
Mesbal:
Hello who is it?
Sidney:
Hello Mrs. Love. Dis is Sidney.
Meshal:
What do you want Sidney?
Sidney:
Whoa ... was .it something I said Mrs. Love or
did you just wake up on da wrong side of the bed?
Meshal:
Not now Sidney, call him later
Sidney:
Hey Mrs Love, not that its any of your business but, your husband is trying to make
shady business decisions behind my back.You better tell him to listen to his Lawyer, cause
I'm the one who made him.
You understand Mrs. Love?
Meshal:
You're right Sidney it's not my business. Goodbye.
Sidney:
Tell em Mrs. Love, I'm hurting here. (Click)
damn it.
(Back in the studio)
(71)
NEXT SCENE BELOW
RODNEY:
What up Sidney? sorry about last night man. But yall got on my nerves.
SIDNEY:
That's okay partner, Shit happens. We just have to stick together no matter what.
STAN: (TALKING TO ROD)
Ask him what he doing here man.
RODNEY:
What's on your mind Sidney?
SIDNEY:
You ain't gonna believe this, I got a call this morning from another radio station
offering double the money that Ed pays.
RODNEY:
And what station is that?
STAN:
Yea, I got to hear this.
SIDNEY:
KNIG 187 FM my brothers. Two thousand a week.
STAN:
Hell naw. Them niggas be killing each other over there.
RODNEY:
I don't think so Sidney.
SIDNEY:
Come on man, this is real money. Look how much money
this is. Ed is screwing us holms. He's banking, we broke.
RODNEY:
We gonna change stations every time somebody offers us more money?
STAN:
What does he know about loyalty?
SIDNEY:
Look who the fuck is talking? Who made the deals
behind who's back? Come on ass hole, tell me.
(89)
NEXT SCENE BELOW
Rodney:
Oh honey, I'm so tired where did you get that. It's so pretty.
Meshal:
You like it?
Rodney:
Oh hell yea. Put it up there, to you.
You know. Meshal: Like this?
Rodney:
Damn.
Meshal:
I got a hot bath ready for you baby.
Rodney:
Oh, really.
Meshal:
And I'm gonna put this on for you.
Rodney:
No shit.
Meshal:
No shit.
Rodney:
Oh shit. (Starts singing) She's an animal,
animal the lady is an animal.
Meshal:
Honey, be quiet before you wake up Little Jr. And get
ready to be my prey.
Rodney:
Singing. I got a date with my wife.
Gonna be so nice I say she is so fine.
I'm so glad she's mine oh mine.
Its on now.
(Love scene goes on)
(Resolves into next day)
(On the way to work. Stan and Rod) in car.
(96)
NEXT SCENE BELOW
Stan:
Do that for me.
Rodney:
You got it. We all we got man, I can't believe my wife left me.
Stan:
Your wife didn't leave you boy, she went to visit her mama.
She don't even like her mama. What you worried about.
Rodney:
I don't want her to get hurt so this is just a blessing in
disguise you know?
Stan:
Let's practice man, you gotta
be on the air at 10:00 and at Skelos at 10:30 your wife'll be back.
Rodney:
You right, let's go.
Stan:
Anyway, don't nobody want
your ugly ass son, he looks just like you.
Rodney:
My boy is handsome, I don't know
what you talking bout.
Stan:
Ha ha ha.
Rodney:
Look at your grand daddy.
Stan:
Don't go there. Talk to the hand.
Rodney:
Skelo got himself a comic to warm up the crowd for me.
Stan:
Ah, shit. Who is he?
Rodney:
I heard he was on HBO.
Stan:
That don't mean shit I saw
this comedian on HBO who
used to be down at Venice beach
smoking crack and telling jokes.
(124)
NEXT SCENE BELOW
Rodney:
Hey, thank you for coming I really appreciate it.
Rico:
Peace out my brother.
(Ed calls from office)
Ed:
Pretty crafty there Dr. I'm
loving it, I'm loving it.
Come in here for a minute will you.
Rodney:
Sure Ed, be right there
f olks we I re going to a commercial so
we can pay the bills. We'll be right back with our
next guest Mr. P.D. Evans.
(Commercial)
(Rod goes into Eds Office)
Rodney:
What's up Ed?
Ed:
Man how do you do that you
almost had a Pimp crying.
You hit his soft spot.
Rodney:
Everybody has a soft spot. You just
have to know what button to push.
They'll bring it out.
Ed:
Genius, got damn genius. You go boy.
Rodney:
Yea. I think Pimp Daddys here.
(Exits the room)
Rodney:
Welcome back people. This is the Love Dr.
and right now in the
House we got Pimp Daddy Evans.
What up Daddy?
(138)
